Tuesday, May 22, 2018



Zoombies (2016) Like Jurassic Park, but with zoo animals... that are zombies. Probably a case of coming up with the title first, then patching together a movie around it. TIL: As they serve a common educational good, the Church is okay with zoos, as long as they aren't cruel.

Churake Legend

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Chorake Legend (1988) - "An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last." - Winston Churchill

Monday, May 21, 2018


Piranha Part Two The Spawning

Piranha Part Two: The Spawning (1981) James Cameron sort of directs this tale of flying fish feasting on tourists. Silly start to the Cameron/Henriksen team. TIL: Animal experiments are morally acceptable if they help save lives. Yeah, creating flying piranha doesn't pass muster.

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972) - "The mob is the mother of tyrants." - Diogenes

Sunday, May 20, 2018


Malibu High

Malibu High (1979) Standard drive-in fodder has schoolgirl seducing teachers to get good grades. Her success at smalltime extortion encourages her to become a hooker, then a hitgirl. TIL: As Screwtape explained to Wormwood, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one.

Rewind This

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Rewind This! (2013) - "Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it." - Alfred Hitchcock

Saturday, May 19, 2018


He Knows You're Alone

He Knows You're Alone (1980) Jilted groom stalks brides to be. Oddly appealing slasher has very little gore, way too much dialog, and just enough Tom Hanks to let you know he might have a future in movies. TIL: And some people wonder why the Church requires premarital counseling.

Monster From The Ocean Floor

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Monster from the Ocean Floor (1954) - "Repentant tears wash out the stain of guilt." - St. Augustine

Now Showing Marquee 5

Holy, holy, holy? Maybe. Over at Aleteia I take a look at 3 "holy" movies now streaming on Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Friday, May 18, 2018


Church, The

The Church (1989) Vengeful demons besiege a cathedral. Perfectly directed, brilliantly eerie, totally incoherent; just the way a good nightmare should be. TIL: If you don't want demons in your church, don't worry about the barricades, just go to confession regularly.


"A good heart will help you to a bonny face... and a bad one will turn the bonniest into something worse than ugly." - Emily Bronte

Now Showing Marquee 3

And finally, in case you missed it, I’ve posted my review of Deadpool 2 in which I consider the all important question of whether or not it’s okay to laugh at fart jokes.


Deadpool 2

As a moviegoer, one is eventually faced with the inevitable choice; do you laugh at the fart joke or don’t you? If you wish to be the kind of viewer who concentrates solely on film as an art form, then you probably can’t, at which point it’s best to not even bother with the Deadpool franchise. If, on the other hand, you’re not the least bit perturbed by the lowest common denominator, then come prepared to laugh your derriere off.

That’s not to say Deadpool 2 is nothing but an endless stream of fart jokes. In fact, if memory serves, there aren’t any actual gags about gassiness. Trouser browning, groin punching, and tons of penis related material, absolutely, but no actual fart jokes. Still, you get the idea. Any film where defeating one of the villains involves exposing his bare bottom and shoving something up it isn’t one that takes the high ground.

Now, let’s give Deadpool his due. The first movie actually had a few touching moments involving our hero’s undying devotion to his wife. Even amongst all the chaos and blue humor, this nod to normality (which always tends to reassert itself in these types of movies no matter how hard they try to be shocking) gave the first film an unexpected heart. That trend continues in Deadpool 2, though this time around the sentimentality is centered on the notion of the necessity of family.

It begins with an unexpected tragedy which causes Deadpool to seek solace with the X-Men. Very reluctantly, the world’s premier mutant super-group agrees take the merc with a mouth on as a trainee under the condition that he not kill anyone ever again. Naturally, Deadpool abides by this restriction for all of ten minutes into his first mission, at which point he opens fire in an attempt to stop a portly foul-mouthed young mutant with the regrettable name of Firefist from being arrested.

Disowned, depowered, and detained, Deadpool and Firefist become easy targets for Cable, a soldier from the future who has traveled back in time to execute Firefist before the boy can go full supervillain. Thanks to Deadpool’s intervention, Cable’s first attempt fails spectacularly. Unfortunately, the whole sorry episode convinces Firefist to team up with an unexpected, but much welcome classic X-Men villain. In a last ditch effort to save Firefist from a life of crime and/or death by Cable, Deadpool assembles his own team, X-Force, comprised of second-rate losers such as Domino, Shatterstar, and The Vanisher. Imagine their surprise when Cable himself shows up and wants to join.

Deadpool 2 is comic book simple and, thankfully, it never pretends to be anything else. The extra bloody action is appropriately unrealistic and over the top, the character development is as thin as the paper these heroes originally appeared on, and the jokes… well, it’s a Deadpool movie, isn’t it? This a film which features the most cringe inducing Basic Instinct parody ever. There’s nothing here that comes anywhere close to being highbrow. But that’s fine, especially if you’re the type of moviegoer who has decided that, yes, you actually can laugh at the fart joke.

Ah, but what if you’re a Christian moviegoer? Then the question becomes SHOULD you laugh at the fart joke? Simply falling back on WWJD isn’t really much help. The Bible doesn’t tell us anything about what Jesus found humorous for the simple fact that it doesn’t matter. The Bible relates only what we need to know for our salvation, and whether or not Jesus would have guffawed over the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles is of little consequence when it comes to saving our souls.

That leaves the Church to help out, and as usual, she puts most of the burden of the decision right on us as individuals. As we’ve mentioned often before, Pope Pius XII wrote in his encyclical Miranda Prorsus that those involved in the motion picture industry are “forbidden in conscience to present motion pictures that are contrary to faith and sound morals.” But when Hollywood lets us down and does produce such a movie (imagine that), then we as Christians shouldn’t go see it.

So, is Deadpool 2 contrary to faith and sound morals? Well, if you take Deadpool as the voice of moral authority in the film, then yes, no question. However, the movie itself never does that. The film is full of characters who continuously point out that (1) Deadpool is insane and (2) nobody in their right mind would, or should, do or say some of the things he does, especially if they want to get into Heaven (Spoilers: that’s actually a plot point). In its own way, the film really does have a moral center. It just also has the sense of humor of a bunch of thirteen year boys hanging out and telling each other to pull their fingers. If you find that kind of thing funny (and God help me, sometimes I do), then Deadpool 2 just might be for you.

Thursday, May 17, 2018


Cellar, The

The Cellar (1989) Kid accidentally frees monster created by Indians to kill the white man. Being an equal opportunity demon, it decides not to discriminate. TIL: Actually, most missionary priests tried to help Native Americans. The soldiers they accompanied, not always so much.


Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Brazil (1985) - “A characteristic of the great saints is their power of levity. Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly.” - G. K. Chesterton

Wednesday, May 16, 2018


Ebirah Horror of the Deep

Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966) The Big G takes time out from smashing spies to have lobster for lunch. Or is Ebirah a shrimp? Whatever, he's not kosher. TIL: In truth, kashrut has little to do with health and everything to do with imparting moral lessons and self discipline.

Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes, The

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Beast with a Million Eyes (1955) - "People who deny the existence of dragons are often eaten by dragons. From within." - Ursula K. Le Guin