Sunday, March 18, 2018


I, Frankenstein

I, Frankenstein (2014) Poor attempt to turn the Baron's monster into a good looking super-hero. I, Frankenberry would be more interesting than this. TIL: The good Catholic boy in me wants to appreciate the ham-handed pro-life vs pro-choice analogy, but come on, this is bad.


Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Frogs (1972) - "If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first." - Mark Twain

Now Showing Marquee 2

Meanwhile, on TV, it’s another episode, another mixed bag. My look at the CNN documentary series, Pope: The Most Powerful Man in History, continues at Aleteia.

Saturday, March 17, 2018


Sleepaway Camp

Sleepaway Camp (1983) Haven't seen this legendary slasher yet? Watch it for the insane ending. Have seen it? Watch it again for all the craziness that comes before. TIL: Parents have a special responsibility for fostering virtue. Not sure what Angela's mom was trying to foster.

Evil Judgement

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Evil Judgment (1984) - "“If we all were judged according to the consequences of all our words and deeds, beyond the intention and beyond our limited understanding of ourselves and others, we should all be condemned” – T. S. Eliot

Friday, March 16, 2018


I Am A Groupie

I Am a Groupie (1970) Idiot teenager runs off with a rock band, then another, then another... Ultimately bleak look at the reality of every girl who didn't get to be Pamela Des Barres. TIL: Chase after false idols and you'll just end up getting screwed. See what I did there?

Equalizer 2000

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Equalizer 2000 (1987) - "Do not use a cannon to kill a mosquito." - Confucius


Sorority Girls and the Creature From Hell

Sorority Girls and the Creature From Hell (1990) Bottom of the barrel B-flick has paper mâché head turning man into murderous monster and sending him after thirty-year old "sorority" girls. TIL: If this was all the danger Hell could muster, I think we'd all be okay.

7th Voyage of Sinbad

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958) - "Where sin was hatched, let tears now wash the nest." - St. Robert Southwell

Thursday, March 15, 2018

THE JUKEBOX HERO HYMNAL: Hymn 030: Love Remember Me by Dennis Wilson

It’s been a while since we added a track to the Jukebox Hero Hymnal, hasn’t it? That being the case, we may as well come back with a doozy.

Love Remember Me is a previously unreleased bonus track from the 2008 reissue of Beach Boy drummer Dennis Wilson’s only official solo effort, Pacific Blue, an album AllMusic’s Thom Jurek proclaims “a classic, blissed-out, coked-up slice of '70s rock and pop that is as essential as Fleetwood Mac's Rumours.” That sounds about right.

The music of the Beach Boys was never overtly religious, but that doesn’t mean such concerns weren’t there. In an interview with Rave Magazine in 1967, Dennis’ brother Carl Wilson noted,
"At present our influences are of a religious nature. Not any specific religion but an idea based upon that of Universal Consciousness. The concept of spreading goodwill, good thoughts and happiness is nothing new. It is an idea which religious teachers and philosophers have been handing down for centuries, but it is also our hope. The ideas are there in God Only Knows, Good Vibrations, Heroes and Villains and it is why the new LP is called Smile. The spiritual concept of happiness and doing good to others is extremely important to the lyric of our songs, and the religious element of some of the better church music is also contained within some of our new work."
At least a few of those same notions seemed to remain in Dennis Wilson’s head a decade later, especially in songs like Love Remember Me. It opens like any song about a broken heart, with Wilson lamenting a lost love…

Never thought you could ever blow me away
Never thought I'd see the day
We both would run away

But as the song goes on, he starts to cry out…

I want to love
(People live, people die)
I need to love
(People laugh, people cry)
I want to love
I want to love
So love remember me

And then it happens. He gets a response in the form of a quite heavenly sounding choir…

(Love keeps tumblin' down on you)
(My love comes driftin' down on you)
Oh, come on, come on, hello, come on
(My love comes gently down on you)
Well, come on, come on, hello, come on
(My love keeps tumblin' down on you)
Yeah, Come on, come on, hello, come on

It is as if a voice from above has heard his calls and is offering comfort, assuring him that he is loved. It is one of the great paradoxes of faith that when times are at their worst, it is often then that we are open to hearing God’s voice. When asked how he made it through seven years of being held hostage in Lebanon, AP journalist Terry Anderson explained…
"We come closest to God at our lowest moments. It's easiest to hear God when you are stripped of pride and arrogance, when you have nothing to rely on except God. It's pretty painful to get to that point, but when you do, God's there."
God, who is love, does remember us, and His love does come tumblin’ gently down when we need it most. Just a reminder as we head into these last few days in the desert of Lent.


Microwave Massacre

Microwave Massacre (1983) Cloddish construction worker kills wife for bad cooking, then makes a meal of her. Weird hearing the voice of Frosty the Snowman espouse the joys of cannibalism. TIL: God wants us to have appetites, just, you know, with a little self-control involved.

Chandu on the Magic Island

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Chandu on the Magic Island (1935) - "From silly devotions and sour-faced saints, good Lord, deliver us!” - St. Teresa of Avila

Wednesday, March 14, 2018


Gator Bait

’Gator Bait (1974) Pretty poacher Desiree proves revenge is a dish best served Cajun style. Not great, but hicksploitation fans should be pleased, I garontee! TIL: The Feast of the Assumption is considered an official holiday by Cajuns. Nothing to do with the movie, just neat.

Captive Women

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Captive Women (1952) - "Love to be real, it must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self." - St. Teresa of Teresa

Tuesday, March 13, 2018


Geharha The Dark and Long Hair Monster

See, this is why you need friends. I had never heard of Gehara: The Dark and Long-Haired Monster until long-time pal of the blog, Rocket Scientist, brought it to my attention. I’m not sure how such an oversight happened, but that injustice has now been corrected.

Produced in 2009 for the Japanese television show Tere Asobi Pafoo!, Gehara is a 20-minute short film that both celebrates and parodies the giant monster genre. It begins with two fishermen witnessing the rising of the very hairy behemoth, an incident that leaves one dead and the other completely bald for some reason. Curious about the survivor’s story, a newspaperman tracks down a shrine/tomb dedicated to the legendary beast, Gehara, only to find it empty.

It isn’t long before the hirsute horror stomps its way into Tokyo, where it proves unstoppable. That is until a mysterious American shows up with a newly developed secret weapon, a giant oscillating fan. Using the device, the army blows Gehara’s hair away from its face, exposing the creature’s weak spot. Gehara appears doomed… until the evil extraterrestrials show up!

Gehara is a work of pure fan service. Casual viewers probably won’t get all the inside jokes, but those who’ve sat through 60+ years worth of Godzilla movies more than a few times will likely recognize the loving details. There’s the lost tribe that worships the creature, the gratuitous tacked-on environmental message, and the homeless aliens hell-bent on world domination. And, of course, there’s the obligatory scene where the authorities try to hash out just what kind of monster it is they’re dealing with.

Among the possible explanations are some rather odd choices. Possibly they’re up against a Keukegen spectre, one of those small dog-like spirits whose hair can cause disease that were dreamed up by artist Toriyama Sekien in the 1780s. Or maybe it’s a Seaman, a freakish fish with a humanoid face found in a Tamagachi style video game for the old Sega Dreamcast. One government representative even suggests it could be one of the elder gods, the Koto·ama·tsu·kami, who created the earth and has now come back to reclaim their handiwork.

Inherent in all these speculations is the notion that something old is trying to reassert itself, a common thread in Japanese giant monster movies. Many experts see this as a commentary on Shintoism in post-war Japan following its dissolution as the state religion by Allied occupation forces. In his piece for the book Giant Creatures in Our World: Essays on Kaiju and American Popular Culture, Professor Se Young Kim discusses Shinto, noting that “its connection to kaiju cinema is in the fact that it loses favor as a cultural practice beginning in the middle of the twentieth century.” He goes on to point out the fact that “Godzilla appears at exactly the moment that Shintoism recedes.”

While many Shinto customs continue unabated in Japan, the religious aspects of the practices have slowly been deemphasized. With that change has come an apparent decline in the respect for the traditional family, the sacredness of nature, the need for spiritual and physical cleanliness, and the honoring of the gods and ancestral spirits. As a result, many experts suggest Japan is suffering. So basically, in these kinds of movies, the idea is that all of these crazy kaiju running around are a manifestation of the cultural rot brought on by the abandonment of traditional religion and the values contained therein.

With that being the case, one wonders why there aren’t more giant monsters running around the United States. Of course, we have plenty of homegrown horrors to reflect our own cultural decline, don’t we? After all, there’s a reason exorcism and zombie movies remain so popular.

Monday, March 12, 2018



Inseminoid (1981) Archaeologist gets knocked up by alien, has the worst case of prepartum psychosis ever. Undeniably bad, yet oddly watchable Alien ripoff. TIL: Sin requires deliberate consent. E.T. induced or not, most pregnancy related mental conditions don't qualify. Get help.

War of the Worlds

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of War of the Worlds (1953) - "I will rescue you from the hand of the wicked, and ransom you from the power of the violent." - Jer. 15:21